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all or nothing mentality

3 Tips to Break the ‘All or Nothing’ Mentality Around Food and Eating

All or Nothing Mentality With Food

All or nothing?  This might sound familiar. Are you someone who can follow a diet plan for only a short period? You are counting calories perfectly with no sugar or carbohydrates. YES!  All is going great. But visitors pop around with cake (OH!) More social dinners and BBQs to attend (YIKES!) In these circumstances, you find yourself saying “Oh stuff it! I may as well enjoy it!”.  And suddenly…we go BOOM to the other side, to the extreme of bingingI feel like so many of us can relate to this (which is why I do not advocate dieting in the first place). So if you can relate to any of this, then listen in – this is the blog for you!   

all or nothing mentality

Perspective on ‘all or nothing’ 

Think about this ketchup analogy.  As you know, I am from Germany and we love our sausages with ketchup.  Let’s say you are eating a sausage with ketchup and you spill a little bit of ketchup on your shirt.   Now, I am not going to say “Oh well, I spilt a little so may as well do the rest” and continue squirt the rest of the bottle on myself.  This is just absurd! We are not going to do that!  

 

Or, the car crash analogy. Let’s say you are driving your car, and you bump your car just slightly.  You will not then decide to smash up your car into the wall, until it is fully dead. We are just not going to do that!   But this absurd thinking is what we do with food and eating. We eat a little bit of cake or a biscuit, and then say “Well, I may as well binge the entire packet of biscuits.” So it does not make sense at all. But that is what many of us do. 

all or nothing mentality

Here are my top 3 tips to kick this ‘all or nothing mentality’

I have recently been to Dubai and it was truly amazing. I was on an ‘all-inclusive’ cruise.   So you can only imagine how much food and drink was available! It was interesting to observe peoples’ thoughts and actions.  Many people clearly thought “I am on holidays now, so I might as well go crazy and there’s all this food available, so I might as well eat all of that”.  For me though,  I noticed none of that happened.  Despite there being epic amounts of sweets, deserts, delicious meals and drinks –  there was not one day I went crazy with the food just because it was available. I thought this was interesting.  So wanted to share my top 3 tips….

 

Tip 1: Flavour 

It is so so important to add flavour to your meals. You want to feel satisfied when you eat your meals.  A lot of the time people say, “I am good during the week, but I go nuts and all-or-nothing on the weekend.”.  Adding flavours to your meals can be incredibly helpful.  Try adding cheese, bacon, olives or sun dried tomatoes into salads. Use salt, spices and tasty herbs when you cook. Melt some butter over your vegetables.  When you have coffee, add cream if you like it. Healthy fat is not something to avoid. Fat is a flavour carrier, and it makes you feel more satisfied. So add flavours to your meals and focus on feeling satisfied, which leads to the following tip….

all or nothing mentality

Tip 2: Eat food you like to eat!

Eat food that you enjoy and don’t eat food you do not enjoy.  It is important you focus on feeling satisfied with every of your meals. You will notice the way you eat during the week will be the same on your holidays and weekends / or social parties as well. Food is meant to be enjoyed!  

 

Tip 3: ‘Good enough is enough’

Have the approach that ‘good enough is enough’.  On some days you might not be able to have 6 servings of your greens or vegetables. Some days you might only be able to have a few carrots or frozen vegetables. That is all ok. That is good enough! Maybe some days are super stressful and you can only manage to eat canned tuna.  And that is good enough as well. That is the focus you need to have. In that way, it is not a battle! And when you go away on holidays, for example, you know you are doing your best.  Your focus is on good enough. Hold self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself. And enjoy flavoursome food you love!

all or nothing mentality

Finally…

When serving your meals at social parties. I suggest getting one plate and on that plate put everything that will satisfy you.  Don’t just go for carrot sticks and hummus because that ‘looks healthy’ to gain other peoples’ approval. Eat what you enjoy. Add flavours that will satisfy you. Ask yourself: How much will satisfy me? How much will feel good to me? And go for it…keep that one plate as your serving for the night and know that if you have cake or biscuits …’good enough is enough’.   

 

I truly hope this helps with beating the ‘all or nothing approach’.  If you have any questions please reach out as I am happy to help. If you have anything else you want me to blog about, please get in touch.  You might find my blog on mindset shifts around eating interesting, check it out here.  Further, if you are into podcasts, the latest episode by Summer Innagen discusses the diet cycle and to give yourself FULL permission to eat so you don’t bring guilt to the table. Listen here: PODCAST: FRR 155 – Holiday “Overeating” & Weight Gain. 

all or nothing mentality
5 steps to re-build your relationship with food - Mindfoodness

5 Steps to Re-Build Your Relationship with Food and Yourself

All my teenage years and most of my 20s I literally hated food. I saw it as my enemy. I felt out of control as I was either starving myself or binge eating. There was never a middle ground. I tried every diet that existed out there and more – as I was creating my own diets as well.

 

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rates among psychiatric disorders, according to Anorexia and Bulimia Care. Millions of girls, boys, women and men are suffering with varying levels of an eating disorder, however, most are suffering in silence, feel ashamed and alone.

 

I definitely did. I never told anyone that I had only one meal a day on some days or got rid of the food that I binged on. The sad thing though, is that most of the time it felt even normal to me, because everyone was doing it. All my friends were on some sort of diets.

 

These days I see it with my clients. They hide and feel ashamed talking about it – even to their own partner. They compare themselves with others and believe that they are the only one going through this.

 

So why is it happening and what can we do about it?

 

With today’s pressure portrayed by the Media and Social Media, many feel not good enough and inadequate the way they look and live their life. When we compare our average and at times boring life to so many Instagram and Facebook posts, it can leave one feel overwhelmed and anxious. Believing Instagram and Facebook, people seem to be always happy, have the “perfect” body, eat only salads and drink green smoothies, and workout six times a week.

 

We loose touch with reality.

 

At the same time, when we are constantly bombarded with messages that we need to change the way we are, that is only going to make us feel like we are missing out and need to jump on the wagon to join the crowd. There is no one day, without an add why we should lose weight, how the latest shake is going to make you feel amazing and healthy and why we need a moisturizer to stop developing wrinkles.

 

These messages are confusing and overwhelming. They can lead  to eating disorders, such as binge eating, orthorexia, bulimia, etc.

 

If you are experiencing a distorted relationship with food and your body, please know you are not alone.  Here are five things you can do to heal your relationship with food and your body.

 

1. Stop Dieting and Restricting (and enjoy your Food)

Look at your beliefs and thoughts around food. Do you believe that some foods are good and others are bad? If you restrict the “bad” foods and end up bingeing on them, this could be the first indication that you don’t have a healthy relationship with food.

 

You see, the more we restrict foods we love, the more appealing they become. We can resist only so long, until our willpower runs out of steam and we end up overeating like we will never get any food again.

 

Start adding healthier versions of the foods you love into your diet. When we stop restricting, we can break the diet cycle and start healing our relationship with food.

 

2. Eat all your meal.

Chances are, when you skip a meal, you get way too hungry and end up eating anything and everything that comes your way. It is often followed by strong feelings of guilt, shame and punishment with excessive exercise regimes and food restrictions. If this sounds familiar to you, then make sure you have three full meals a day and add snacks in between. Don’t let yourself get too hungry. I did a video on How much to eat and when to eat where I am explaining how to balance your meals.

 

3. Check your Negative Self-Talk

Due to social conditioning and the social pressure, many create high expectations of themselves and the underlying belief that they are not good enough. The negative self-talk feeling inadequate is often a driver for wanting to change our body through excessive exercise regime, controlling our diet, even avoiding social situations when there is food involved. The more we are putting ourselves down, the more likely we are going to control our feelings with food. Some use food for comfort or to numb their heavy emotions and others restrict food to gain a sense of reward and achievement by reaching their set goals.

 

Mindfulness helps us to create awareness and understand our underlying beliefs. By observing our thoughts and emotions we can accept ourselves and at the same time make more informed decisions about what truly matters to us.

 

4. Feel your feelings. Feeling is healing.

Many people judge their emotions as bad or good (e.g. happiness is good and sadness is bad). As humans we will always try to avoid pain and seek pleasure. So, when we describe a feeling as bad, we will want to avoid or numb it. In moments when we feel not good enough and experience anxiety or sadness, we will want to eliminate this pain that is created by the “negative” feeling. Different people use different coping mechanisms to numb their emotions such as food, alcohol, drugs, phone, social media or pornography. It allows us to escape for a moment.

 

It might feel uncomfortable at first, but feeling our feelings and seeing them as what they are can be very powerful. They are just feelings, they are not our reality and don’t define and reflect who we are. Acknowledge how you feel and make the decision to act based on how you want to live your life.

 

5. Talk about it.

So many suffer in silence and feel like they are the only ones who are feeling insecure about themselves. As soon as we open up and speak about it, we realize how many other people feel very similar to us. They too just felt ashamed and fearful to be judged. Choose a person you trust and know they will listen without judgment and share with them how you feel and what you are going through. Speaking to others can help us to get perspective and share the load.

 

If you know someone who is suffering with food and body image issues, please feel free to share this article with them. They might find it helpful.

 

For more information and more support, I am available for a FREE Food Freedom Breakthrough Call. You can book your call HERE.

Binge Eating is often triggered by dieting

The Hidden Reasons For Binge Eating + Stop it for good.

Why you are binge eating and how to stop!

 

We often try so much to stop binge eating, we try new diets, go to nutritionists and often it doesn’t work and then we get to a point where we wonder: Why am I binge eating? As a consequence, we start questioning our own will-power and discipline. The truth is, binge eating is not about will-power, it is more than that. It is about what triggers binge eating and how we respond to those triggers.

 

If you suffer from binge eating disorder, you might feel similar to the way I felt. I was truly ashamed of what I did and never talked about it until I decided that I needed help. You can read my personal story and how I overcame it in this blog post.

 

Feeling guilty and ashamed is often part of it.

When I think about my binge eating episodes, it always came with a whole number of emotions and feelings. It often started with excitement. I couldn’t wait to eat all the yummy food I bought. Then it continued with feeling sick as I was eating all the food and ended up with shame and guilt about what I had done AGAIN.

 

After every binge eating episode we often feel guilty about the amount of food we had.

Every time I would say to myself that it is the last time and I would never do it again. However, it didn’t last long and I was craving more caramel slice, more chocolate and more fudge (yap, those were my favourite foods to binge on – oh and bread.)

 

Binge Eating is another form of eating disorder

At that time I didn’t realise what binge eating was. But basically it is an eating disorder where we frequently eat large amounts of food while feeling powerless to stop and extremely distressed during or after eating. In most cases you will find yourself being full and still not being able to stop. Often you might even not register that you are eating. It is like a tunnel vision – like a numbing process. Only when you finished all the food you had available, you might stop and realise what just happened.

 

If you are like me, you probably have tried to tell yourself: “I just need to go on a diet, eat well, exercise more and I will be fine. I just need to have stronger will-power.”

 

Knowing your binge eating triggers puts you in your drivers seat again

Dieting and restricting is, however, one of the triggers for binge eating. So every time you go on a diet, you set up a bomb for the next binge episode. We might have good intentions, but unknowingly to us, we are the creators of the binge and restrict cycle.

 

The main triggers for binge eating are the following reasons.

  1. Dieting and restricting

  2. Inconsistent or not enough meals

  3. Imbalance in your blood sugar

  4. Habits and Patterns

  5. Beliefs and negative thoughts

  6. Emotions

 

To find out which one applies to you and what you need to do to end the binge eating cycle and create a healthy mindset around food again, please download the free workbook. I have worked with hundreds of people and now understand the hidden triggers for binge eating. The good news is, when we address those hidden and real reasons, binge eating disappears and you won’t even notice when it happened. No will-power or strong mindset required.

Eat when bored Stop Binge eating and emotional eating

Hidden reasons for binge eating revealed

6 KEY STEPS TO
END BINGE EATING CYCLE &
RELEASE EMOTIONAL WEIGHT

Regain power over food!

 

Binge eating and emotional eating is not a food problem, it is an emotional problem.

 

We can’t rely on will-power to stop binge eating. In this e-book I am addressing the underlying reasons why we use food as a drug and what our body is trying to tell us.

 

This will surprise you now, but binge eating is not a problem, it is a solution. It is a solution to a problem you haven’t addressed yet. It is a sign that there is something in your life that is not serving you. Mindfulness is a great tool to identify your emotions without using food as a crutch. Numbing our emotions won’t make them go away, they will manifest themselves in other illnesses.

 

Binge Eating is a learned coping mechanism

Some time along the way you have picked up a coping mechanism that was serving you at that time. It was your way to find safety and comfort. And the beauty of this is that you can learn a new way of managing what ever is going on for you- but in a more powerful way.

 

Depending on your trigger, you can now create a plan what you can do instead. Let’s say if stress is your major trigger and every time you feel stressed, you want to eat. Follow the following steps to learn to create a plan of action:

 

4. Steps to stop binge eating

  1. Identify your emotion: stress
  2. Create awareness of your coping mechanism: eating lollies
  3. Understand why you want to eat: relax and comfort
  4. Think about other ways to find relaxation and comfort: Deep belly breathing, walk, talk to a friend, move your body, have a hot bath, go for a run, hug a loved one, rest.

 

In the video below I am going more in-depth into these triggers. Watch the full video to identify what your real reasons are for binge eating and emotional eating.

Download the workbook mentioned in the video HERE

To figure out your reasons for binge eating and finally find peace and control over food again, join me for my upcoming online Food Freedom Program – Free yourself from Binge Eating and Emotional Eating. Click HERE to find out more. 

 

 

At the end of the course you will know powerful tools to ease your binge eating urges, know how to manage stress and strong emotions without food and feel empowered and in control to get back into food and body freedom.